And away we go.

As I've hinted in my own personal blog - and as my friend, Otto has so eloquently outlined below - the surfing media is rife with dogshit. Not that other newspapers and magazines don't have their fair share of crap, but none suffer from the perfect shitstorm that batters Surfer, Surfing, and the rest of the bro/brah rags we spend our toilet time with, week after week, month after month, year after year, decade after decade.

I'd like my inaugural post to convey a few simple truths about the surfing media, but I'll be undoutedly rehashing much of what Mr. Teller has already stated. Forgive me, but in order to kick off this exciting new blog, it's important that I tell it as I see it.

1. The surf media is made up of an astonishingly small group of people. Take a look at the contributing and senior editors listed in your favorite surf mag. Multiply that by two, and you roughly have the complete list of people controlling virtually everything you know about professional surfing, the surf industry, and everything else about surfing aside from your home break and the waves you caught this morning (although I guarantee the latter two have been shaped in some way by these guys or their predecessors). They're virtually all ex-pro surfers and they simply ping-pong back and forth between the magazines. One day Evan Slater is the editor of Surfer, the next it's Surfing. Back in the 80's, Matt George was the editor of Surfer while his brother, Sam was the editor of Surfing. Shee-it, a larger group of people produced my college newspaper.

2. I once described the major surf magazines as "glorified trade journals". This is actually an insult to trade magazines. While trade rags seek to report upon and ultimately promote a particular industry (when I was in high-tech, Info Week and Interactive Week were just two of the many industry news and gossip magazines...when I was in advertising it was Adweek and Advertising Age), they still seek to report the news and act as responsible journalists. If the latest Sun workstation is a piece of overpriced shit, Info Week will tell you. If the most recent Taco Bell ad campaign is a heartburn-inducing shit burrito, AdAge will come out and say it. The surf magazines on the other hand are 100% industry cheerleaders. They're not trade journals, they're brochures.

3. Professional surfers are as interesting (and as fucked up) as Barry Bonds, Terrell Owens, Kobe Bryant, or Jeff Gordon. You'd never know it though. As I've asked before, what do you know about Kelly Slater? Virtually nothing, because the surf media doesn't report it. The interviews are fluff and full of cliches and bro/brah backslapping - "Andy, you must have been stoked on your latest victory. Tell me, how does it feel?" Want proof? Who outed Kelly Slater as deadbeat Dad? The LA Times. Who broke the story on Anthony Ruffo's arrest for meth a while back? The Associated Press. Surfer Magazine? A small sidebar in the issue I got 10 minutes ago. Sunny Garcia, former World Champ, punches out complete strangers on the North Shore in front of cameras for a nationwide reality show audience. The magazines? NOTHING. Not even a mention. Can you imagine if Labron James knocked some kid out at a public court in south Detroit?

4. Why should you care that the magazines are run by industry cronies? Because they're posing as real journalists and that to me is as bad as any blatant lie. They're selling you themselves in order to sell you their bros. They're glossy infomercials with great photos. The pros are making MILLIONS because their sponsors are selling you their wares, which you snatch up like its going out of style (which it is with every passing day... in order to send you more stuff, of course). The magazines pump up the athletes, which in turns pumps up sales, which in turn pumps ups advertising budgets, and the cycle repeats. Would you buy a glove worn by Rafael Palmeiro today? Hell no. He's a cheat and a rat. Bruce Irons could be selling arms to the Taliban, but you'd never know it. Volcom sells too many DVDs thanks to him. To say that Volcom would pull their advertising if Surfing ran a picture of Bruce handing a trunkload of grenade launchers to Osama Bin Laden is actually too easy. Surfing wouldn't run the picture because Evan Slater is bros with Richard Woolcott, which is way worse because its unpunishable. All sorts of guidelines exists to keep editorial publications from telling lies, but none of them can force a media outlet to tell the whole truth.

So what can we do about it?

Otto Teller and The Colonel are pissed off. We know the bro/brahs, but we're outsiders too. We see surfing's true colors every day and we want to share it with the world.

Together we're going to ruffle some feathers, draw a little blood, and hopefully add some truth to your daily mind surf.

Dropping in on the mags NOW.

- The Colonel